How did it get to be almost Yom Kippur again? It’s amazing. Abi Weissman here with a blog post about the past year.

It feels like no time has passed and yet, so much has happened. Personally and professionally, I feel like a changed person when I think about what life was like a year ago. 

I wasn’t vaccinated yet. I was so scared of getting COVID-19. I was scared of my parents and family members getting it. Scared is an understatement. I was terrified. 

I barely left the house except to walk around the block and explore our backyard. At the beginning of the year, I took the chance and went out for drive through coffee. It was such a treat! 

At this time, my parents and most of my family members have been vaccinated, even our babysitter/nanny. 

My kiddo still is not able to be vaccinated yet as she is in the under 5 set. She has returned to school, though, this time as a Pre-K-er and we have been able to have our sitter work some hours with us again. 

My world opened up a bit when I had green juice with a friend at a real restaurant sitting down outside when he came through town before moving to another country.

I even met my parents at the airport and gave them big hugs. I watched as they made new memories with my kiddo. We played together; three generations were together in person. After over one and a half years. I feel so lucky.

So much has happened. 

I’m trying to remember the year. I’m flipping through my Primed Planner, which outlines some of my goals and dreams and is my backup of my online calendar. There were months that I only filled out one page. I always started documenting again, because once I started again it felt so good to write down my priorities for the month or people I want to reach out to or my thoughts on life.

Inauguration Day was where we our family sat together to watch the new President and Vice President. It was especially wonderful to see our new Vice President, Kamala Harris. It opened up more conversations with our kiddo and with ourselves as to how we could honor and support the BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color)  in our lives even more than we had done so in the past.  

I am a Jew. I am also in a multi-faith relationship. I am a mom to a kiddo we are raising to have a strong Jewish identity. Knowing that Kamala Harris’s husband and step-children are Jewish gave me so much hope in the future of seeing families like ours be recognized. I think this Rabbi says it well too at Kamala Harris & Doug Emhoff's Interfaith Family Is Beautiful Because It's Normal.

Professionally, we were sad to close down our North County office as Dr. Camilla Williams and I remained seeing clients through video only. We have dreams of reopening our practice in Rancho Bernardo or Poway or Vista, once it is safe to do so again. We also look forward to hiring more clinicians so that we can serve more people in our queer and trans centered ways. Please let me know at office@wavespsych.com if you or someone you know would be an excellent fit. 

I started Level 3 of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy training. I exchanged sessions with colleagues and learned how to do my own sessions. It was and continues to be an exhilarating challenge and a big learning edge for me. 

We revamped the websites with the help of practicery.com , making them more streamlined and focusing on the https://www.wavespsych.com one, making doctorabi.com more of a list of past blogs and resources and another way to find our group site rather than our main website. 

I bought an office chair. This was a big deal to have something that fit my body and was ergonomically better than the last one. 

I got sick and I got well.

I usually try to keep myself out of my clinical life. After all, a client’s therapy session is about the client not about my life. Since this is our blog, I thought it would be okay to open up a bit about some personal stuff in the past year. If you aren’t interested, please skip the next few paragraphs. Thank you!

This year, I noticed that something was up with my body and I wasn’t getting better with more rest or more personal attention. Although I was scared, I reached out for medical care. I am grateful for health insurance and accessible health care. My doctor told me to get tested for COVID. I did and was negative. I was told that I could go to the ER for a Contrast CT Scan or if I didn’t want to go to the ER, that I could wait a few days and get the test through outpatient services. I knew deeply that although I was nervous about going into the hospital, that it was time, that something was really wrong. I needed to really honor my body and go to the ER. I packed up a few books, my computer, charging cords for my phone, a stuffy (aka a stuffed animal) from my kiddo, and a snack, and my family dropped me off at the hospital. I was scared and I went anyways.

The doctor there thought that I was healthy as there was no outward sign that I had anything wrong with me. Even my numbers (blood pressure, oxygen saturation, pulse rate, etc.)  were fine.  I kept on saying that I needed a contrast CT scan. That test was why I was in the hospital. I was right to press on. My body was right. I got the Contrast CT Scan. They found that I had had (more) lung blood clots. I had went in just when I needed to. 

My primary care physician continued to stay in touch with me as I moved through the ER to observation and to overnight care. I am grateful that there was room for me at the hospital. The floor I was on had been reserved for all COVID clients but they had since made it a COVID - free floor as it wasn’t needed for that purpose anymore. My family called me and we took virtual walks around the hospital together. My friends reached out. My nurse was amazing and the MD was great too. I then found a new, supportive MD specialist who could continue to monitor my care and I got on new medicine. I left the hospital grateful to be alive. I was so grateful to my body for alerting me that something was amiss and I continue to be thankful that I listened.
I canceled clients when I was sick and retreated a bit from clinical life until I was feeling better. It was hard to take time for myself to heal. I wanted to be better sooner than my body could be. I eased slowly back into my clinical life and began working with clients again clinically and through Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy.

This past year, I connected to my body over and over again and learned that it is there for me and I am for it and that it is not going anywhere. I began to notice that connection to my body through personal practice of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy and at other yoga classes. I continue to show up as I can and when I can, for practice. I am learning to practice for practice’s sake, not for any particular goal or memory of what it felt like in the past, but for the practice itself. (This was my learning from a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy philosophy class.) I am learning over and over again how to breathe and how to be in the moment. 

I also got vaccinated for COVID-19 and was able to get my employees early access to the vaccine as well (as we are health care workers and all). 

I continued to learn about EMDR. I took the Basics Training and I wanted more. I participated in an amazing EMDR consultation group for those of us working with perinatal and postpartum people and their loved ones. I found a wonderful individual consultant who I continue to see as I work on eventually becoming certified in EMDR. 

I continued my Level 3 Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy training. I’m now in quarter 4 and able to charge money for sessions, although I have a few free sessions left to offer. Please let me know if you want a session at yogatherapy@wavespsych.com I love the work. I love the practice and I love facilitating the sessions. 

I’ve been hired to provide presentations over zoom for graduate students in clinical work and for an agency. I’m excited to help others learn to be queer and trans affirming and knowledgeable. I also enjoy honing my presentation skills and gosh, do I LOVE to present. What a joy!

I’ve witnessed such horror in the lives of those whose friends and loved ones have died from COVID-19 or another devastating illness or have suffered through pain and health concerns. 

And, on a happier note, I’ve changed my pronouns to she and they. It’s been a journey and will continue to be as I explore my identity. For now, though, know that I will respond to she or they pronouns and will get a little nervous and excited if you use a they pronoun to refer to me. 

I know I’ve made mistakes this year. Although they were unintentional, it doesn’t take away the hurt I might have brought others. I am very sorry. I welcome constructive feedback at any time and I will do my best to repair as I can. For my past clients, if please contact me or Dr. Kolmes (see the link below) for a feedback form to fill out. I’m using Keely Kolmes’ forms. For more information of what this looks like after the information is collected, please see her own follow up survey results at https://drkkolmes.com/client-satisfaction/#.YT42Dp5KgQI 

Some mistakes I’ve made include not following up on time or at all at times. I’ve needed to rearrange my schedule. I’ve misunderstood clients and colleagues. I’ve hurt people’s feelings. I said the wrong thing or missed the mark or stayed too long on a topic when I should have moved on or I talked too much. I wasn’t as active in my community as I wished I were. I didn’t write letters or make very many phone calls in support of justice. I followed along and supported those who marched but I didn’t do much marching myself. For those mistakes and any others I made without realizing, I am deeply sorry. 

I hope that you have had a good and sweet year and that you have a good and sweet year to come. We at Waves, wish you a meaningful Yom Kippur, if this holiday is part of your tradition.

With appreciation for you,

Abigail “Abi” Weissman, Psy.D. (she & they)

California Psychologist & Student, Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy

Founder

Waves, A Psychological Corporation