A Series on LGBTQIPA2+ Grief, Loss, and Mental Health: Couples, Partners, & Chosen Family Therapy
for changing roles, life transitions, and at the end of life
By Kelly Hutton, Registered AMFT
Blog Post Author and Couples & Partners Therapist and Grief and Loss Specialist
Waves, A Psychological Co.
Life changed seemingly overnight for you and your partner(s).
You’re adjusting to new roles and dynamics in your relationship and now it feels overwhelming, stressful, and scary. You feel alone while also desiring the closeness with your partner(s) that you may have previously taken for granted. One of you is up for the challenge in this new phase of your relationship, including taking care of the partner in the ways they need most at this time. The other partner(s) receiving care sometimes feels guilty about asking the supporting partner for help or they feel jealous.
You may have also had a breach of trust and you’re stuck in knowing how to repair it. And sometimes your trauma memories resurface, which leaves you feeling confused or frustrated.
Even though you have a deep sense of comfort and familiarity with each other, you and your partner(s) aren’t sure how to communicate emotions and needs, especially during stressful times. You recognize strengths in the relationship, and you need additional support in problem-solving in these new, uncharted experiences.
I help partners who feel overwhelmed and stuck to navigate these difficult-to-have conversations. These clients talk about caregiving partners with chronic illness, how to meaningfully connect as death approaches, adjusting to changing roles in intercultural or bilingual multifamily structures, feeling stuck in the same communication patterns, exploring newly realized sexualities and gender identities, and how to support their veteran transition to civilian life.
Clients learn over time to let their guard down, find solutions, communicate emotions and needs empathetically, repair after breaches of trust, and utilize their own strengths for discovering new ways to reconnect. There won’t be worksheets, but there will be talks about attachment, grief, connecting to the body, and there will be humor even in the midst of pain.
Everyone encounters awkward transitions in relationships at some point in life. But with relationship counseling, you don’t have to do it alone. There is hope. Together as a team, you can openly share the details of your personal life without fear. And at last, you’ll get to feel lighter.
My clients typically come to see me weekly so they can get consistent support as we continue to get to know each other and work towards their goals.